Monday, August 16, 2010

感情專一人的特徵

1、 自己走路會很快

2、喜歡黑夜,習慣晚睡

3、隱藏心事,喜歡一個人流淚

4、喜歡有口袋的衣服,否則不知道手該放哪裡

5、習慣抱臂

6、習慣冷戰

7、喜歡窗戶,喜歡角落、習慣蜷縮

8、喜歡寫字和閱讀

9、莫名地孤單,無法抗拒的恐懼感

10、不愛說話或很愛說話

11、心事放在心底,有一個自己的世界

12、把笑掛在臉上,幻想自己是有安全感的孩子

13、習慣了沉默,在沉默中爆發或者選擇滅亡

14、習慣了懷疑,卻總是要把人往好處想

15、不相信童話,卻一直期待會有個真正懂得自己保護自己的人出現

16、喜歡懷舊,之後感到深深的寂寞和恐懼

17、不喜歡一個人逛街可又總是一個人逛街

18、一點點事就胡思亂想,想到戲劇般的嚇人

19、喜歡聽慢歌,傷感的歌

20、會很用心地記下生命中出現的每個人

21、習慣暗戀,愛上一個人會全心全意

22、坐在電腦前,不知道做什麼,卻又不想關掉它

23、覺得世界上每一個人都不可靠,但卻還是那樣地選擇相信別人

24、偶爾會有種想消失,或是想一輩子沉睡的想法

25、不喜歡等待,卻總是等待

26、經常不經意的發呆

27、習慣活在過去,喜歡懷舊

28、總會把事情想得很長久

29、不習慣一個人莫名其妙地消失在自己的生命中

30、總是覺得沒有人能把自己放在心裡疼

31、容易滿足,更容易受傷

32、喜歡傷感,甚至頹廢

33、習慣保留自己,因為只有這樣在離開的時候,心才不會痛

34、總有一種,被忽視的感覺

35、看似花心,看似膚淺,其實是在保護自己

36、付出的遠遠超過得到的

37、很固執,不懂得放棄,但一旦放棄了就絕不會回頭

38、總是說著要離開,卻一再為自己找不離開的理由

39、在別人面前笑得很開心,一個人的時候卻很漠落

40、在陌生人面前很安靜,在朋友面前胡鬧

41、玩網游只是為了打發寂寞

42、喜歡下小雨時淋雨

43.、並不是所要的太多的回報,只要一點點就可以讓我們死心塌地,可以很少,但一定要有

44、心情不好的時候,卻喜歡聽悲歌

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

愛不到

愛不到
Less than love

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sometimes, a title, a sentence, or just a bunch of words would come to me before I get an idea for a story. Sometime it is simply a play of word or a phrase that I think sounded cool. Some examples are: 乾蒸麵, 愛的時候 .

I had this title for a really long time and never had a story to go with it. I finally got one today while watching In The Mood For Love, a great movie by Wong Kar Wai and I do believe it is better than 2046.

Thought of a story about this high school boy and this high school girl from another school who liked one another but the relationship never actually started. They are from different school but meet at a inter-school competition. They just notice one another and become serious. Their school are across from each other and are rivals. They have groupies at their own respective school and it makes it hard for them to show affection but they finally do get some time and away from anybody else. But then they have to part.

In F.5 the boy has to go overseas, US to further his education. The girl left also for UK. The lost touch. At the end of the story, it's about 10 years later in 2007 and the boy finds a woman who looks very familiar in the underground MTR as she gets off the train. From then on he tries to get on the same train as her.

This is from May 2008:

Somewhat inspired by Roald Dahl's The Great Automatic Grammatizator and Other Stories, Ihhhhh have a story up my head.

The protagonist is a midget who is also a mechanical genius. He was born to regular Chinese parents. From an early age, he was small. Kids teased him but he did managed to have a few good friends and his family supported him all the way. Despite his size, he excelled in mathematic and the science and developed an interest in robotic. He went to MIT (or a really prestigious) on scholarship, went to graduate school on full scholarship. When he graduated the biggest tech companies lined up to hire him including Microsoft (with Bill Gate talking to him one on one), Apple (featuring Steve Job), Boeing, Lockheed Martin, NASA, GM, GE, Sony, Samsung, Honeywell, IBM and etc... He accepted one of the jobs and they gave him great salary but he was somewhat teased by the others and he felt unloved and lonely. He disappeared for a while and came back in a mechanical suit that allowed him to be like a regular person. He went into another company, remade himself and worked from the bottom up with no special treatment.

He either created the suit to follow his college interest or she, Kate, went to his company. He spend his days working on his mechanic suit after work, improving it, maintaining it and etc...

Only his best friend, Ronald, who helped him make the suit (without knowing it, Ronald worked in a robotic/mechanical engineering company and supplied some of the parts for the suit). Finally, the midget, let's call him Sean for now, got closer to Kate who doesn't know that Sean is in the suit (or that the suit is only a mechanical suit).

Sunday, June 6, 2010

有這麼一類人

有這麼一類人…他們很傻…貌似很花心…其實很專一…

貌似很堅強…其實比誰都要脆弱…

貌似很開心…可是笑容背後的哀傷誰又能懂…

其實很多時候…這一類人都是在自我折磨…

明明很愛很愛對方…卻寧願心痛的死掉…也選擇放手…

然後轉身離開…任眼淚隨意放肆…

其實很多時候…這一類人很好懂…

他們很害怕孤單…因為一個人的時候…他們會胡思亂想…

他們會想起那個沒有結局的故事…會想起那個模糊卻又清晰
的臉 龐…

因為一個人的時候…他們會覺得很沒安全感…

他們的要求總是那麼的低…只要愛著的那個人陪著他們就好…

其實很多時候…這一類人都很敏感…都很容易猜疑…

一個眼神…一個動作…都會讓他們神經兮兮一整天…

所以不要讓他們恐慌…不要讓他們傷心…如果愛他們…

其實很多時候…這一類人都在感傷…

不是他們多愁善感…只是容易觸景生情罷了…

他們喜歡用文字來刻寫他們的心情…這也是他們的一種寄托方 式…

其實很多時候…這一類人都處在矛盾之中…

是繼續還是暫停…是放棄還是堅持…

看似感性的他們…卻往往於最後…總是讓理性駕馭整個思維…

其實很多時候…這一類人總是活在過去…

他們總是不經意地在現在的生活中找一些似曾相識的感覺…

雖然他們自我約定要忘記過去…可是他們忘了…過去已在腦海根 深蒂固…

其實很多時候…這一類人害怕看見別人的甜蜜…

不是嫉妒…只是會覺得和以前的自己好像…然後會陷入整個回 憶…

待過往的疼痛喚醒自己的意識…再一個人慢慢舔舐自己的傷口…

其實很多時候…這一類人都很執著…

有時候不明白他們在堅持著什麼…

他們是在期待那個沒有結局的故事的結局還是在等待更大的傷 害…

他們就是傻…愛上了…就會像個娃娃…任意被擺動…

這一類人…缺點太多…脾氣太臭…不僅任性…而且敏感多疑…

所以要麼不要靠近他們…要靠近就用真心對待他們…因為他們的 心脆的很…傷不起… 有這麼一類人…他們很傻…貌似很花心…其實很專一…

貌似很堅強…其實比誰都要脆弱…

貌似很開心…可是笑容背後的哀傷誰又能懂…

其實很多時候…這一類人都是在自我折磨…

明明很愛很愛對方…卻寧願心痛的死掉…也選擇放手…

然後轉身離開…任眼淚隨意放肆…

其實很多時候…這一類人很好懂…

他們很害怕孤單…因為一個人的時候…他們會胡思亂想…

他們會想起那個沒有結局的故事…會想起那個模糊卻又清晰
的臉 龐…

因為一個人的時候…他們會覺得很沒安全感…

他們的要求總是那麼的低…只要愛著的那個人陪著他們就好…

其實很多時候…這一類人都很敏感…都很容易猜疑…

一個眼神…一個動作…都會讓他們神經兮兮一整天…

所以不要讓他們恐慌…不要讓他們傷心…如果愛他們…

其實很多時候…這一類人都在感傷…

不是他們多愁善感…只是容易觸景生情罷了…

他們喜歡用文字來刻寫他們的心情…這也是他們的一種寄托方 式…

其實很多時候…這一類人都處在矛盾之中…

是繼續還是暫停…是放棄還是堅持…

看似感性的他們…卻往往於最後…總是讓理性駕馭整個思維…

其實很多時候…這一類人總是活在過去…

他們總是不經意地在現在的生活中找一些似曾相識的感覺…

雖然他們自我約定要忘記過去…可是他們忘了…過去已在腦海根 深蒂固…

其實很多時候…這一類人害怕看見別人的甜蜜…

不是嫉妒…只是會覺得和以前的自己好像…然後會陷入整個回 憶…

待過往的疼痛喚醒自己的意識…再一個人慢慢舔舐自己的傷口…

其實很多時候…這一類人都很執著…

有時候不明白他們在堅持著什麼…

他們是在期待那個沒有結局的故事的結局還是在等待更大的傷 害…

他們就是傻…愛上了…就會像個娃娃…任意被擺動…

這一類人…缺點太多…脾氣太臭…不僅任性…而且敏感多疑…

所以要麼不要靠近他們…要靠近就用真心對待他們…因為他們的 心脆的很…傷不起…

Sunday, May 16, 2010

真正愛你的女生會做這些哦

真正愛你的女生會做這些哦
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進來的男孩子,如果你進來了請耐心看完,文字不多,受用
終身~! ­

這樣的女子真的愛你:­

1 不喜歡你吸煙,因為對身體不好;但偶爾也會讓你吸,因為她 知道你戒不掉,不想讓你的心情不好­

2總是罵你傻,但自己做的事情比你還要傻­

3喜歡你強行拉著她的手並且喜歡與你十指相扣­

4你冷的時候她會握著你的手(所以她冷的時候,請你輕輕的抱 緊她)­

5遇到困難的時候想要抱緊你,但遇到大困難的時候想要保護 你。­

6對你很寬容,總是對你笑。(雖然說愛情是自私的,但是, 但你遇到一個可以包容你的女孩時,那就請你好好珍惜她)­

7喜歡和你靜靜的待在一起,沒有任何人的打擾。­

8你跟朋友在一起時,她默默地坐在一旁不出聲(除非是你們都 認識的朋友)­

9會生你的氣,但是只要你好好哄哄她,就一切OK。(女孩子 生氣的時候最可愛)­

10她很有原則,但是為了你也會破壞原則。­

11總是說你騙她,其實心裡不介意,偶爾給你起個騙子的外 號。­

12和你一起吃東西的時候會開心。­

13在你家人面前很有禮貌,在你面前會很凶! ­

14你問她想不想你時她會說不想,其實恰恰相反。­

15喜歡看著你,不管是你睡覺的時候還是吃東西的時候,她想 捕捉到你生活中的每個鏡頭!­

16你遇到了不公平的待遇,比你先叫出聲來­

17會用心改掉你不喜歡的毛病。。。­

18對自己總是大大咧咧的,但是對你總想做到無微不至。。。­

19喜歡和你撒嬌吵嘴,因為她會喜歡你讓著她的感覺。。。­

20只會對你有些害羞。。。­

21總是胡思亂想,只因為她想和你有以後。。.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Brave Faces

紅衣女教師校內跳樓亡 事發上課時間 安排輔導逾20學生

(明報)2010年4月27日 星期二 05:10

【明報專訊】九龍塘賽馬會 官立中學一名深受學生愛戴的37歲女教師,昨午在學校上課時間,身穿紅 衣從校舍4樓走廊直墮操場,傷重不治,校內有20多名學生目擊事件,校方已安排心理輔導。警方指出,死者有情緒病紀錄,未有留下遺書,尋死原因未明,事件 無可疑。

深受學生愛戴 有情緒病紀錄

死者容綺文,37歲,已婚,於1993年起在賽馬會官立中學執教鞭,主要教家政科,亦有負責女童軍的活動,生前為中一班主任。根據該校03/04年 校務簡介,容綺文曾獲女童軍總會「服務金獎」,04/05學年曾與綜合人文科教師合作設計生命教育教案並獲獎。曾被她教過的學生都說容老師對教育有熱誠, 教學手法活潑且態度友善,經常展現笑容,深受學生愛戴。

學生指昨日沉默 異於平常

校長陳柯瑞芳昨表示,對事件感到愕然及悲痛,她表示容老師近日不見異樣,不評論其尋死原因。該校一名姓袁學生引述容所教班別的同學指出,容昨日變得 沉默,有異於平常。校長又說,事發時有學生目擊事件,經了解後共有20多名學生即時得知發生事故,校方已立刻派社工和心理學家等為他們輔導及疏導情緒。

昨午2時許上課期間,校園內突然傳來一聲巨響,未幾有人發現身穿紅衣的容綺文倒卧學校操場上,校方報警。救護員到場後發現容仍有知覺,立即把她送 院,經搶救後不治。校方其後透過中央廣播通知學生有關事件,部分學生激動哭泣,校方為方便警方在場調查,稍為延遲放學時間。警方其後在學校的4樓走廊發現 一張櫈,相信容綺文從該處躍下。

張文光 促正視官校教師自殺

教協副會長張文光表示不認識死者,他說由08年10月至今已有3名官校老師自殺,認為「教育局作為辦學團體,擁有最多的教育心理學家,不能不正視教 師自殺問題」,他要求公開官校教師的死因。張文光建議教師若需要尋求協助,可到位於太子的教協新會所「教得健康支援中心」,有專業社工和心理學家駐場提供 服務。

教育局對事件表示難過,學校已啟動危機處理小組跟進,教育局亦派出學校發展主任、局內教育心理學家、學生輔導人員到校支援。

醫生:目睹事件如經歷災難

香港精神科醫學院李永堅醫生表示,教師在學校內自殺身亡,對學生的影響必較其在其他地方自殺的影響大,「學生有三分之一時間會在學校,亦很大機會路 過其墮下的位置,變相經常『提醒』他們有教師在此死亡,受創心靈需要更長時間癒合」。另外,當時正值上課時間,部分學生聽見巨響甚至目睹事件,對學生來說 等於經歷一場災難,部分人或會患上「創傷後壓力症」,產生恐懼,想逃避某些關聯的事情,如上學、教師任教科目的書本等,「與死者感情好的更有機會患上抑鬱症 ,故校方及家長需多加留意及開解」。

有學生昨晚在facebook開設群組悼念容老師,祝福她一路走好,有男同學留言﹕「還記得當天在想『男孩也要上家政?真的有趣』。在她課堂上真的 學了很多很多,成功煮的第一道食品,成功的第一針等等。真的令我充滿成功感!現在我還保留著你教我做的那個黃色小的攬枕,真的很感謝您。」

飯盒銷量纏擾輕生教師 夫現身控訴﹕妻承受校長家長壓力

(明報)2010年4月29日 星期四 05:10

【明報專訊】「長期受壓是會爆煲的。」日前在校內墮樓身亡的女教師容綺文的丈夫揭露,患有情緒病的太太生前面對校長、家長、學生各方面的龐大壓力, 肩負學生午餐飯盒供應的工作令容綺文最受困擾,她曾被要求「推高」學生訂購量,甚至因飯盒問題被校長責罵得哭起來。12年來,放下工作當太太背後的男人, 司徒汝強無奈表示自己能夠為妻子處理校外所有事務,卻始終不能戴上面具,替她承擔校內的沉重壓力。

「逃不出工作中的無情壓迫」

37歲的容綺文周一下午在任教的九龍塘賽馬會 官立中學墮樓身亡, 其夫司徒汝強撰寫《見證容綺文老師的最後歷程》,張貼在悼念容老師的facebook群組,講述太太生前面對的工作壓力,「逃不出工作中的無情壓迫」。本 報昨日曾盡力聯絡賽馬會官中校長回應司徒的指控,但最終只收到教育局的回應。(見另稿)

司徒汝強昨日接受本報記者訪問時形容,太太性格懦弱內向,不會拒絕上司吩咐她做的事,「她好似一隻牛,你叫她做就做,好為難的她都會做,要做足 100分未必可以,但要她改就會盡量改」。他透露,妻子在讀中學時期疑受讀書壓力,腦部出了問題,導致幻聽、抑鬱等病徵,20年來需每天定時食藥,得病是 她難以處理壓力原因之一。

讀書時已有抑鬱 需每天吃藥

容綺文畢業後加入該校任教,一教17年,處理學生午餐飯盒是她近10年的工作之一。司徒說,這些年來,幾乎每日都聽到太太訴苦;自從近年官校統一簽 約飯盒供應商,飯盒質素下降,訂購量大減一半有多,「校長逼我太太增加訂購量,她只好每晚打給每個家長和學生,每次她都無奈說『又要打電話』,我不明白教 師為什麼好似銷售員般『揹數』」。

司徒說,農曆年前,太太曾因飯盒供應問題與供應商負責人理論,情緒十分激動。他看不過眼,接過電話與對方理論,周末過後,校長突然召見容綺文,責罵 她在辦公時間外找對方,罵她找丈夫為她出面。容綺文被罵後哭了起來,「辦公時間找不到,晚上找有錯嗎?」他坦言,事件是校長與太太二人的對話,而且現已死 無對證,要證實也不可能。

新校長上任成情緒轉捩點

司徒汝強表示,新任校長上任1年多來,是太太情緒起變化的轉捩點,不時聽到太太訴說壓力大和很辛苦,「她不開心時,總會在午飯時間打電話給我訴苦, 她更對我說很怕見到校長,想等校長離開學校時才離開」。但司徒強調,太太不是校長的針對對象,因為其他教師同樣被罵,甚至是在大庭廣眾被罵,「管理層的責 任是要知人善任,用不同方法誘導下屬的潛能,而不是以一個方式對待所有人,為什麼要將商業機構的一套帶到教育機構?」

除了校方的壓力,學生家長亦是壓力的來源,司徒汝強表示,太太把學生的事轉告家長,家長不但為子女說謊,更向校長投訴,校長又會在家長面前罵太太, 令她承受莫大壓力。他強調,撰文寫太太生前面對的壓力,不是要求校方道歉,也不是針對校長,只希望能反映教師面對的壓力,防止同類事件再發生。

當日穿紫紅衣 早已配襯好

12年前離開工作崗位、專心分擔太太沉重工作的司徒汝強說,太太為經濟問題跳樓的說法不成立,「要死一早死了,近半年有房屋津貼,收入更夠我們養 車」。他又澄清,太太墮樓當日身穿的「紅衣」實為紫紅色,是太太早已配襯的衣服,「下車時她更提我接她下班」,顯示太太自殺是很突然的事,他不知悉太太在 自殺前曾發生什麼事。

容綺文的喪禮定於5月22日上午10時於紅磡萬國殯儀館舉行,同日出殯。



http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/100428/4/hqi7.html

首次自行上學 9歲女捱撞命危 不欲父覆診頻撲 「我可以自己返學」

(明報)2010年4月29日 星期四 11:45

【明報專訊】「我可以自己返學的,不用擔心!」就讀錦田一間小學的9歲女生施滛琳,每天上學都由父親送到校門前,惟昨因不忍稍後要往醫院覆診的父親 辛苦送返學,主動提出可自己回校,詎料在學校附近甫下巴士,從「車罅」走出過路時,即遭馳至客貨車撞拋墮地,頭部重創,搶救後命懸一線,其父在病房外激動 自責。

父原每天送到校門

捱撞的施滛琳,在錦田波地路聖公會錦田聖約瑟小學讀小二,與父母及4歲妹妹同住。施父從前協助友人從事雲石工程,月入萬多元,現自行在外接工作,妻 子則在多月前失業。施父每天都陪伴滛琳乘車上學,目送其步入校門始離開上班,未料滛琳昨獨自上學便遇上意外。

滛琳的父母、親友及學校教職員等昨往醫院探望。據親友轉述醫生說話,滛琳頭部重傷,腦有積血,要動手術在顱骨開一個4毫米的洞降壓,但她一直未有蘇 醒,在屯門醫院 兒童深切治療病房留醫,情况危殆。

父激動自責 「有送佢就無事」

眾人在病房外表現擔憂不已,其中施父更表現激動,不斷自責。他說,女兒成績不算好,有點散漫,但甚為懂事。他續稱,因自己患眼疾,昨早需往屯門醫院 覆診,乖巧的滛琳聞言不欲父親奔波勞碌,提議自己上學,更不斷勸父親不用擔心,施父遂陪同女兒乘巴士到學校附近,讓她獨自下車步行上學,自己繼續乘車往醫 院。「我在她落車時仍千叮萬囑,要她小心過馬路……最衰都係我啦,如果我有送佢就冇事啦!」施父說。

昨早7時許,滛琳乘巴士至錦上路近波地路時獨自下車,該處並無行人過路設施(見另稿)。滛琳之後從一輛旅遊巴及私家車之間走出,擬橫過馬路往對開波 地路再步行返校,其間疑未察覺對面行車線有客貨車馳至,有途人見她衝出,曾大聲喝止,惟未能阻止意外發生,客貨車猛撼滛琳,將她彈飛對面馬路倒地。

滛琳捱撞後陷入昏迷,一名老師目擊事件即上前了解,並報警及致電通知施父,而校長及其他老師聞訊亦即趕至看望。施父在巴士上接獲消息,慌忙下車跑返 現場,看見女兒昏迷不醒,嚇得掩面,稍後陪同女兒到博愛醫院 ,再轉送屯門醫院。肇禍客貨車事後衝前30米始停下,33歲南亞裔司機 Tahir在場協助警方調查,並通過酒精呼氣測試 。

Several years ago, I thought of a project about people who are facing death. It was inspired by the news of people who were leaving at the same time. At the time, it was my first year in Hong Kong actually. A small group member's cousin committed suicide. A girl who I used to go to Chinese art class with contracted a killer virus, some kind of disease from a trip in Xian, China. She died after several months in the hospital. She was around my age, only 22-24 at the time. She had a nice loving boyfriend and she herself is a very nice person. I feel crap about being late to her memorial service, so late that I couldn't make it in.

In America, my friend's friend, a husband and a teacher was killed. My friend described how the school was sadden by the news and how students cried in hallways and classrooms. She herself was barely able to get through the day.

An old rich woman who is dying from cancer with her children fighting over her because of the inheritance she would leave behind. Her daughters fighting at her bedside as she lay unconscious.

There was also a news about how a young girl and her father were ran over by a truck as they were crossing a road.

It is suppose to be a story about several characters, who they are and how they faced the ends of their lives. Kind of like 21 grams and crash and how stories are related. Death related these stories which do not necessary interweave together.

BRAVE FACES, the title, originates from another idea of a project about everyday people who keep a brave face on despite of the difficulties and challenges of their daily lives. For example, it could be a fireman, an old lady who collect paper for survival, a teacher who keep a smile on and a motivational force for her student despite of all the challenges of being a teacher nowadays in Hong Kong, etc.


I think it can be used as the title of people who get killed? Not sure. Maybe not.

When I was back at the UCR CMP, there was a series of photographs of street views from the roofs of tall buildings. As I found out, they were from the perspective of people who jump off to their deaths. I can't remember the artist name. Found it! it's Sachigusa Yasuda's flying!


Life is precious, don't take it for granted. We don't really have control over death. We don't know how long our days here on earth will be. It's an examination of death, which is the end of life, which is also the contrast of life. So it is also an examination of life.


Monday, April 5, 2010

INVINCIBLE

A virtually indestructible man in late 20s - mid-30s who sacrifice advancement in job as well as his personal life for others. He does things, incredible things for others but gets no thanks, get no credits yet could hardly do anything for himself.

"I don't know why it is, but when somebody needs help, I get going. I feel the adrenaline, I feel the excitement, I get power. But I can't do anything for myself."

He loses his power when he get depress or emotionally week.

His colleagues look down at him and he's always somewhat on the fringe of getting fired because he looks tire at work because of his extra activities and sometimes disappear from his cubicle. When some emergency happens, he would go to the restroom, change his clothes and sneak out from the restroom window.

He gets the thankless task of helping others but can't help himself.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Heartbreak Station

There is a trend in China where young people would hire "temporary" boyfriend or girlfriend to assure their parents and families that they are not alone.

I am seeing if I can write a story in the perspective of a young man (hopeless actor) who has became an experienced and professional "for hire" boyfriend.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Retard Station

Retard Station

Two persons trying to get together, trying to communicate indirectly and in the process there were many jokes and hilarious incidents caused as a result. They were trying to say what they want without saying them.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Have to go but don't want to go. Wanting something but can't get it.

Have to leave a place for self preservation yet part of him wanted to stay. Hong Kong.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Forget. L

This is a story about leaving someone you like and not knowing when you will be returning. And you just have to forget and learn to move on.